"I do not - it's supposed to give me a bump - it's a 'Bumpit'" I squealed and smacked away the phone.
"But your hair doesn't look like that. And you can see the 'Bumpit'..." he looked at me doubtfully while readjusting his towel and flashing me with most of his man-bits which were, unfortunately, at my eye level.
"Ack! No - I'll get it to work.... Maybe if I use the small 'Bumpit'?... Nope. It fell out. What the hell?!" I was getting frustrated. I flopped back against the cabinets in the bathroom and crossed my legs under me. Sitting in the bathroom floor I studied the directions again.
"Can I try it?" Harry asked me.
"No. I hate it. I'll try it later when you're not staring at me like this:" I let my eyes glaze over and opened my mouth and looked at him.
"No. Let me try. I can do it." My husband - he does not lack in confidence.
"So, you take this section of hair - oops - sorry! And then, no - you want it farther back, so you - sorry! Okay, whoops! And then you stick it in and - um - pull the hair over it and - ohh - bet that hurt - and then it - hmm..." he sat back and looked at me. "Maybe you aren't meant to wear a 'Bumpit' and anyway, it looks good just like it is.
I looked in the mirror. One side of my hair was poofy and teased while the other side was hanging loosely - with a small "Bumpit" comb hanging from the depths.
"Thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanks!" I said sarcastically.
He got down on his hands and knees in front of me. "Don't blog about this okay?" he said his big clear blue eyes gazing into my green ones.
"Shut up and bring me a Tylenol."
So, my advice, on this lovely Saturday, is to NOT buy anything that "As Seen on TV" AND if you do make that choice - don't let your husband near it. Now - what was the name of that hairspray color that covered bald patches? I seem to have a recent need for it...