Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Fashion Faux Pas and Fears

"I like your shorts."
I look down, notice my giant Harlequin print granny panties and looked back at my loving husband.
He smiled sweetly. "They're nice shorts."
And somehow he's still alive today to tell the tale.

Since my uterus has been invaded by a future Chuck Norris wannabe, my fashion choices have gone from limitless to limited - and not in a good way. I have stretch pants that can be tucked into my bra. I have panties that can be tucked under my chin and I have pads that now go in my bra and not to create "definition" or lift. My legs are still wrapped in the most wonderfulness of fake-fleshy peach bands - up to my knee and are padded all around with gauze, cotton, foam and sock-like material. In 2.5 weeks I will have three sets of knee highs that will be "Suntan" and made out of burlap sacks (at least that's what they feel like to me) and it's sad how much this will be a welcome change for me. Mainly because I will then be able to wear real shoes again (I had to attend my Baby Shower last weekend with plastic bags on each foot to protect me from the snow). They will arrive just in time for me not being able to bend over to lace them up. Yay! :)

I now go to six to seven appointments a week for the baby, my Gestational Diabetes (I'm up to taking 140 units a day of insulin. My track marks continue to be the envy of heroin addicts everywhere) and my legs. I am now busier than I was when I actually worked for a living. Now I work just to keep living. BUT - even though my health continues to be tested (sugars increasing due to big baby, UTI's that keep popping up, leg swelling keeps creeping in through the wraps...) Baby Harry continually gets good reviews. He's big - but developing well and progressing along - quickly and a little faster than I had anticipated.

Harry and I have (reluctantly) signed up for a Birthing Class on Saturday. I'm sure it will be educational, informative, long and will do enough to flip me out that I will probably never want to go through the actual birthing process.

Too late on that one, huh?

So - wish me luck and that I'll remain conscious throughout the video selections. How embarrassing would it be to be HUGELY pregnant and NOT be able to watch the videos of a woman giving birth? Something I'm going to have to do - eventually!


Amber said...

Not to scare you.....When I had my first, unfortunately, there was a mirror on the ceiling. It was like a train wreck, I couldn't look away! After I delivered my daughter, my placenta didn't detach. I vividly remember not being able to look away from that stupid mirror, and watched the doctor pulling the umbillical cord hand over hand out of my twat. And he kept pulling and pulling. And pulling. More and more of that thing kept coming out. It was huge. I won't tell you what it looked like. And I won't tell you how my placenta finally managed to detach. No, he didn't yank.

Anonymous said...

You will be fine. Remember the epidural is your friend. Forget all the gross stuff from birthing just remember the epidural and it will all be good. I had the same medical situation with my first set of twins as you do now. I hated the shots and did not think my legs would ever go back to normal. I ended up delivering at 29 weeks I was being treated for preterm labor and my husband was in Iraq. I found out he had been shot and had my girls that night. They are 4 years old happy and healthy.

Chandra said...

If you are lucky they will still be showing the films from the 70's/80's that we saw at the birthing class. Aaron and I STILL crack jokes about them three years later.
No kidding.
If so you and Harry are in for a real treat, lol

cmh said...

And why, shortly after your having a baby, do people ask, "So, when are you going to have another?" if I'd do THAT ever again. Hee hee